“Disney to make new ‘Star Wars’ films”

These first few words were going to be
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
But I thought it best to put them off
Until a later time.

Have I been asleep too long?
Is today really April Fool’s Day?
Is it really necessary for everyone
To live happily ever after?

Somehow I can’t picture Luke Skywalker in a tiara
Or Leia as the next Disney princess;
Somehow I don’t think she’d be allowed
To wear the outfit that turned everyone on.

Has the Emperor really been asleep,
Waiting for his true love’s kiss?
Is Darth Vader going to float down
Out of the clouds holding an umbrella
And whistling while he whiles away
The hours killing Jedi?

Is Obi Wan going to kiss Yoda
And turn him into a handsome prince?
Are Leia and Han going to give birth
To a defiant redhead who kicks ass?

I can’t wait to see how this one’s going to play out.
All they have in the works right now
Are sequels and prequels; I think they’re burned out.

They’re promising another trilogy
With many more films to come;
One a year I think they said.
What day is the world supposed to end?

October 2012